Our Business Story:
You know how sometimes life gets in the way in a good way? That is exactly what happened to us in 2020.
The desire to start a business was brought up years before 2020, it was a great idea, an idea that would get me so excited just by thinking about the possibility… but an idea I would never act on. I like to think of this idea as the seed that blossomed into so many blessings we have today. There are so many moving details about our business story and because it is long I tried to take things out but when I did, it didn’t feel complete. This is for all you detail lovers like me! Don’t worry it is not my life’s story, but it is a very important and pivotal time in my life that also gave me clarity of my life’s purpose all while it also rescued my marriage.
God Is In The Details
I had been a stay-at-home mom since Bella was born in 2014. Before she was born, I was looking into the possibility of joining the military but in 2017 I got really serious about a career in law enforcement. I started training that fall. I researched the heck out of the hiring process, and I got in shape in about a year to pass all the physical tests. Doing real push-ups and running fast felt so good! Training was hard but being able to do physically challenging things I never could in high school was beyond me. I applied with Tempe, Chandler, Scottsdale, Phoenix, Glendale, Mesa and Gilbert in the span of 3 years. The hiring process to be a police officer is extremely intense! If you know you get it and if you don’t, I think if you could get a sneak peek as to what it’s like you’d get sick! I think especially for a mom with small kids because of all the time it takes for paperwork completion and getting all your life receipts in order and more, way more let alone all that physical training! I was so determined to be a police officer and also so involved with each department’s hiring team and within the the community as a volunteer in several positions within public safety. I followed up, wrote handwritten thank you cards and asked for feedback to get better if at any point I failed some part of the hiring process. I even wrote a thank you card to Glendale after receiving a letter that said they would never hire me. I think I have a picture of that thank you card somewhere. I kept it to maybe one day laugh at it, and I am doing that now. After constant training for 3 years straight in 2020 I was EXHUASTED, I was drained! My body hurt so much, and I started having some knee problems too. There was no ounce of physical energy in me to keep training. I was also very mentally tired too. I had been “fighting” a wall for 3 years straight and I was tired of never hearing from them. Finally, I got a call in March 2020… I was going to start the police academy with Mesa Police in July that year. I needed to pass the very last step in the process which was a psychological test. If I passed that, my name was going to be in the July 2020 police academy roster. I graduated from MCC in 2018 but went back in 2019 focusing on upping my GPA for honors and finish some requirements to transfer to NAU for my BA in Criminal Justice. Doing that basically got me a 2nd college degree I never physically cared to get. You see being a police officer for me was just the beginning, I wanted to do more for people… the plan was to work for the FBI, that was my ultimate goal. I was studying one day in my kitchen for an exam I had that week but every 5 minutes I would go down for 10 push-ups. I repeated this strategy for an hour every time I had to study or do homework and no, that was not considered training. Training consisted of an hour of exercise Monday through Saturday and without fail I did it and never missed a day. I received a call from my Detective that day which I picked up right after coming up from my pushups. “Mrs. DeGroff, I’m sorry to inform you that you did not pass the psychological test. You will not be able to join us in July. Don’t worry these things happen but you are welcome to apply again.” I cried so much after hanging up and felt so frustrated with myself. To be completely transparent the lady that did that psychological test was super weird, she gave me such a weird feeling just stepping into her office. I instantly knew “something was wrong”. So, all these years I’ve consoled myself thinking “it was her not me” LOL
I Was On My Way To Get My BA At NAU
I was ready to graduate (again) this time with honors and with an NAU scholarship I was working on as well but that never happened… I don’t even have my degree because I didn’t want to apply for it, so it remains MCC records somewhere (maybe literally in the cloud?) haha.
End of 2019 and beginning of 2020:
Before Jordan and I separated in October of 2019 I brought up the idea of starting a business together, but it all stayed in the back burner as our relationship dwindled and as I was becoming drained from the law enforcement hiring process. Candles was something I have always enjoyed, they made me feel happy and its flickering flame always brought a calming atmosphere to our home so I always had one lit, especially when I would get headaches or when I was moody. The ambiance would always ground me and for some reason its light would put my soul at ease. Jordan would buy me candles all the time and they were always the same lavender scent. 2019 was a rough year for us and it all came tumbling down in October when I had enough of feeling unheard and unseen. (Marriage problems do not need to be huge to be validated…) I texted Jordan one day and I told him I didn’t want to see him and that it would be best he slept anywhere but near me. I also told him that I couldn’t do it anymore, pretend to be okay when I wasn’t okay inside. The word ‘divorce’ was thrown around since the beginning of our marriage but I have never said it with so much conviction like when I brought it up again in December 2, 2019.. Jordan did leave but just for that night. He came back home the next day, I was at school for most of the day and when I pulled into our driveway I saw him putting up Christmas lights up and I remember I just rolled my eyes and felt so annoyed to see him take initiative on something I had wanted forever in the past but when you’re done nothing they do is good enough because it’s too late (can anyone relate?)
He was having the girls help him with the decorations and I just ignored it all and went inside to my office to begin homework. After sometime, he came in and asked if he could talk to me. He told me that he understood what I wanted and wanted to respect it and that if I wanted a divorce that we would look into it but that he couldn’t be away from his daughters…. “I need to come back home, I need to be here with my girls” I lied to Bella the night before when we were cooking dinner together and she asked “When’s Papi getting home?” I will never forget how sick to my stomach lying to her about it made me feel. “He is working late today; I don’t think you’ll see him come home because you have to go to sleep” I responded to which she said “Oh ok!” and it was that innocence in them that hurt me so much and in those short seconds I knew their life would be so affected by the divorce I wanted. With so much sadness I put them to bed that night without Jordan and that night I began to realize how it would be to have to see them every other week in the future…
I moved out of our master bedroom and took over the office I used for homework and study and spent a total of 9 months in that room. During those 9 months we were just parents to these two beautiful little girls and if we had to talk, it was about them or about house chores. Our relationship was nonexistent, I avoided him any chance I got. I loved being alone in my room! Each night I looked forward to watching DIY videos on YouTube, they made me happy! YouTube was my only fun outlet and maybe it was the one thing that kept me from going crazy or maybe the thing that got in the way in a good way? Why? You’ll see why in a minute..
This is me and my girls in my own room. They loved to come wake me up. For the 9 months I stayed here they believed it was because I had too much homework and they also labeled the room “The Chile Room” because I got pepper sprayed during the DO training and I made a rule to not have them come in here for several days until all was gone from the air and my bed or any other fabrics…
ps: yes, those 2 heads to the right were Jordan’s bobble heads. I had to look at them for nine months straight.
March – May 2020
Every night YouTube was like my Netflix, I would binge videos that had cool ideas on home décor, gardening, furniture flips, healthy meal prep and parenting advice. One night I stumbled on a video of someone making a candle inside of an orange peel and I remember that day like it was yesterday!! That video did it for me… I thought that was sooooooo cool and interesting that from that video I looked at more and more regarding candle making and every single night for like a month I was watching how to make candle videos. During that time frame I was in school, getting some last pre-recs to transfer to NAU so I decided to make some candles and sell them to raise money for NAU. And I did.. But I was stopped in my tracks real quick by discovering that math goes hand in hand with candle making and although I thought I could do it I always ended up having some confusion or a question to the recommendations from the tutorials I was seeing. So, one night I remember Jordan came to grab some water in the kitchen and I got brave and asked him if he would help me understand some numbers really quick. He helped me and when he helped me things made sense (for that batch!!!!!) LOL! If I wanted to only make 2 candles every time forever then yes his help was wonderful! But as the batch grew the math formula had to change too and that always threw me off. He helped me understand it more than once. We were very short with each other and we only talked the amount of words necessary.. Until one day jokingly he said “let me write it down for you in a way that will always make sense..” The atmosphere wasn’t so intense anymore and we were talking more and more. Well, his little note didn’t work and I was always needing help, one day he really got into it and started watching the tutorials with me to also confirm what he was telling me was correct. He got super happy to watch the videos and to genuinely help me. We were making candles every night on my kitchen stovetop and I have no idea when he just started making the candles with me. It was such a slow process but little by little instead of looking forward to being alone I looked forward to making candles in our kitchen and the day came that I smiled again and that I didn’t feel annoyed to talk to him. Little by little we became like little children ‘playing’ in our kitchen together, getting the math formulas so good and failing at times too. And when a candle didn’t turn good he would take it personally and would study as to why and would research the cause and then he would come back with all of his findings to make it better. As we got better at making candles
We didn’t realize that that light had some power on us because we were just having so much fun. I really do believe we became really good friends first in the candle making process, then we fell back in love with each other but on another level. Instead of looking into divorce we got hooked on a creative side we both didn’t know we had. We sold some candles, we got better and better at making them and making them was really fun for both of us.
Summer 2020
Jordan would come visit me in my room and all we talked about was candles, but the day came where we didn’t talk about candles anymore. We talked about us… He would ask me if I needed anything from him (he had never asked that before…) I would respond with a “no” long story short. He changed so much in those 9 months. Without going into so much detail about our issues, I felt that after those 9 months I had gained a super sweet and present husband and now I had 2 kids instead of 3 if you catch what I am putting down so very swiftly.
We never looked into divorce because we spent 7 out of those 9 months making candles together. We were so busy creating ‘light’ together that I didn’t know when the things that used to bother me and the reasons for wanting a divorce were not there anymore. One day I looked around and I didn’t feel annoyed to be a wife…
I didn’t know I was falling in love in a whole different way, we were just making candles in our kitchen together. But during those months we were healed by light, Jordan changed everything that used to get me so angry but at his own pace and one I’d like to believe with his own understanding of how important those small things were… I was given help from God himself, yes he legit helped me!! It may sound so weird to you but he really did. Him and I talked it out all the time and if you really want to know what helped my heart, mind and soul throughout all of this, it was a whisper from God saying “Pause, and see Jordan as a child and you will understand far more than you could ever do if you just see him as a man” So I did, it wasn’t easy. It was probably one of the hardest things to do.. But little by little as we made candles together I tried to see him as a 2 year old Jordan, as a 5 year old Jordan, as an 8 year old Jordan and so on. My heart just wanted to embrace the child version of Jordan!!!!! He was sweet, oh very sweet.. He was so pure. He was kind. He was compassionate. He was loving and gave love back. He was giving. He was a sharer. He was a good friend. He was patient. He was a child…. As I allowed God to help me throughout all of this my heart started shifting into realizing that our child versions are much more different than our adult versions and I’m not talking about age because that’s obvious, I am talking about the examples that shape you. As we grow we tend to bring in a lot of characteristics from family members that are not all that great, thus living life in a way you think is normal but in actuality it’s not because with time it doesn’t allow you to be considerate of others when your choices impacts them too.
This was December 2019 – this was supposed to be our last family picture…. I smiled for my daughters.
12/2019
July 2020
“I moved back in with Jordan” haha! The way we “got back together” was so funny and cute (and it felt weird sometimes too) After the we cleaned up the kitchen from making candles he would sometimes walk me to my room and just say good night with a hug.. then I would go inside my room and go to sleep. Later it was a hug with a kiss on the forehead. Then a hug with a kiss on the cheek. Then a long hug with a real husband and wife kiss. And then those hugs and kisses got him a golden ticket to my bed, and here comes the weird part.. after it was over he’d get dressed and go to his room!! LOL…
We sold candles for several months before July 2020 but during that same month I found an online course that teaches you how to start an online business called 0-100k by Alison Prince during a pee break after midnight in Idaho while we visited Jordan’s best friend Preston. Here I was, sitting on the toilet hearing EVERYTHING I needed to make that happen. I signed up for her free info zoom thingy which was scheduled about 3 days out. I would lose my dad that very same week. Finding Alison’s course was the door that opened many other doors for me in business and I could not be more thankful for that!
During our drive back home to Az (Jordan and the girls were driving back home, they were dropping me off at the Vegas airport so I could fly to Mexico) we were talking about more business name options since all of the ones I liked were taken already. To this day I vividly remember coming up with our name, Jordan was driving and I said “Arizona’s desert is really beautiful babe….. it just glows!” AND THEN, I turned around and smacked Jordan on his chest (LOL, sorry sweetie!) and I yelled, “Arizona Desert Glow!” After he was breathing again from my gentle excitement he pulled over and looked up the name, I got out of the car to just take in that moment and he yelled, “It’s available!!”. We bought the domain before hitting the road again and our small business idea officially had a name.
I ‘ll remind you that July 2020 was the month I was supposed to start the police academy… instead I was thinking of what to name our business!
After getting home from Mexico since I still didn’t know what I wanted to sell, I started looking into women’s accessories and it seemed fun! So I went ahead and bought several items like bags, jewelry and clothing. Our business became an LLC in late September, and we launched our website October 2020 with very few accessories to choose from. We thought we would have to have a 2nd business because we really enjoyed making candles, but we just added the candles to the site. However now we don’t really focus on women’s accessories anymore, we exclusively focus on candle making.
But something happened in August…. I was over the moon with my business idea. At the time Jordan was just being supportive and overall was just happy I had found something that made me excited again that wasn’t law enforcement. Because at that point I really thought things had ended for me with that. I listened to the advice of a friend who told I should apply to be a Detention Officer and I did but this was back in Spring 2020, I even had an interview and everything.. He said “I know you really wanted a sworn position but this at least gets your foot in the door so that you can re-apply later” I took his advice but way before my heart had adopted a business idea that just made me feel more than happy… I also didn’t get called for a few months so I thought that was just another application that was going to get ignored so after July I didn’t think much of it. But they called me! They called me in August with a start date. I remember telling Jordan “I feel I shoud do it! They already have so much paperwork! Saying yes would mean I don’t have to fillout so much paperwork anymore, because honestly I don’t know that I want to start from scratch!” He said “but what about the business, you won’t be able to work and start a business!!”, “I can do it! I will make it work! I just feel like I need to accept, I feel like it may be my only chance!”
The business continued to get built legally and all that boring stuff and my first day of training was the first day of school for Bella, 1st grade! I remember feeling really sad to miss her first day! I don’t exactly remember the day but I know there was a day where I felt like I was not meant to be there. And as odd as it sounds I don’t mean the job itself, I loved my job! What I mean is I felt like I was only meant to be there for a short time to really know for myself that the world I wanted wasn’t going to bring the most purpose even though I really thought it would. I was working graves for a few months before I was fired. I was fired because I got “shot” first by a training screen simulator. What no one knows until now that I really don’t care to admit is that that specific training day I hardcore had a lot of business ideas in mind! So, I got “shot’ first instead of my shooting the “suspect” first. It was Bella’s last day of 1st grade and we had a celebration per usual. I invited my mom and step dad to come over for ice cream and a movie. I will also admit that I did not want to go to work that night. My family was all cozied up together on a couch, enjoying ice cream cones and a cool movie. I almost called in sick that night! I was so close but something about lying didn’t let me do it so I kissed my family got ready and went to work. I changed inside our locker room, put on my uniform and went to put some snacks inside the fridge, a fridge shared by all of the detention officers there. As soon as I came back from doing that and right before I was going to start my duty for the night (you don’t do the same thing every night as a detention officer, some days you are searching people making sure the officer who made the arrest didn’t miss any contraband and or weapons, other days you’re booking them in entering a bunch of info on a computer and the list can continue all the way to arranging for inmates to see the judge) I was called by the supervising sergeant of the night. He told me the jail administrator wanted to see me, I don’t remember her title all I remember is that she was the jefa (the boss) of all the jail staff/officers. I don’t remember word for word because her words really shocked me… All I remember is that she wanted me to sign a paper acknowledging my work dismissal.. I turned in jail equipment right there and there I signed that paper; I did not say much, and I was escorted out by her. She gave me a trash bag to put my personal belongings in and escorted me out of the building. She came all the way out with me, she stayed behind but came out midway to the parking lot with me in silence. A million thoughts and feelings came over me and anger was one of them but as soon as I felt it I didn’t accept it and I chose gratitude instead. So, I turned around to thank her for everything and for giving me an opportunity… when I turned around she wasn’t there anymore, all I saw was her back as she was walking back inside the building. Cue the tears….. the ugly ones! I couldn’t start the car to go home but when I did, I wiped my eyes dry, I looked up to the sky and I thought “It will all be okey, I have business waiting for me at home”
I called Jordan to come see me outside the house. I parked outside our house by the curb, got out of the car and hugged Jordan so tightly. I whispered “I am so sorry, I am sorry I failed you” Jordan said “You didn’t fail anything! You tried! Something people will never do even if they want to because wanting to do something and actually doing it are two different things, you gave it your all and you should be proud of that, I know I am proud of you!”
I don’t remember the excuse I used that night to come inside the house but when I did the movie had just ended and my mom and step dad were leaving. The next morning I made the girls breakfast and we watched a movie together while we ate. I will never forget that movie, “Meet The Robinsons” that movie was a little nugde from God telling me ‘Don’t be sad! There’s a plan, all you gotta do is keep moving forward.” And I did.
I am relentless, I know now I had to get fired because he knew I wouldn’t have left on my own. I don’t regret anything! Everything I went through, each up and down and each challenge made me so much more stronger than what I already was. I had no idea that would pull me through in business because owning a business is not for the weak… but that’s another story and boy Is it a good one too of how Jordan didn’t let me quit when I wanted to….
After Getting Fired…
Our business grew and grew after I was fired in May 2021, we had our first mini pop-up in August of 2021 and we had a few more events the rest of that year including a trip to Utah that would change my business forever and where I found long time business friends. 2022 was INSANE because we made more collaborations, it was the year we found Painted Tree in Scottsdale, it was also the year I learned email marketing, and it was also the year I made Jordan co-owner of the business because he wasn’t before… (remember he was just a supporter?) LOL well, he became more than just a supporter, he became my “baker” meaning he became my candle maker. He thought he was just casually helping me when in fact he had been hired on without pay and without his knowledge HAHA!! We do a ton together! A ton. I am extremely involved in the candle making process I am just not the one who pours them. This business would not be where it is without Jordan. Fast forward to now, we have an online community of customers from our email list, long time repeat customers we’ve met at markets, five storefronts in the valley, we have donated funds within our community and for non-profits and we have brought lots of people joy with our custom candle work. We have moved our candle workshop out of our living room completely into its own room since June 2024. That has been a roller coaster of a story but in short it basically turned our house upside down because we had to construct another room inside our house. We gave up ½ our master bedroom to build the girls a room to which they have their own window now.
Each time Jordan and I step into our candle room to make a new scent or we are working on a special candle we do so with so much intention, love and care. And most importantly we do it together.
We attribute our candles saving our marriage, but it was also God and many other things we shifted that allowed us to remain together. As soon as our issues were resolved, I felt something I had never felt before and after many prayers I came to Jordan and asked how he felt about me sharing our story on social media…. He has been so supportive since the beginning! So, this whole thing also turned into a desire to share inspiring marriage tips to avoid divorce, how we are navigating raising bilingual daughters, inspiring moms to share their culture with their children and more all wrapped into a blog and content creation on Instagram @life_with_ruthandjordan PS: Just recently I feel I should also post a ton of ugly BTS of what it’s like owning a business there too… because owning a business doesn’t come with unicorns and rainbows – it will mess a lot of things up too, like your mental health or your personal peace. So, I am excited to share how we navigate that having our business inside our house because that is not changing anytime soon.
There are so many elements into online marketing especially when it’s about one’s real and raw life I know I am not where I would like to be in terms of content for my blog, but I can assure you there are so many in this head of mine. Life with Ruth and Jordan could not exist without Arizona Desert Glow and vice versa but rest assured that as much as they are connected, they have their own identity, and I will try my best to keep them separate never hiding my truest self from who really founded Arizona Desert Glow. I love who I am, I know who created me, I love where I came from and I also absolutely love everything I’ve done in my life thus far with that said I have learned so much from my mistakes too. As a business owner, wife and mother I am so excited for the projects I have planned for the future ahead.
If you are sitting in a situation right now that you do not understand just keep moving forward, I know there’s a plan for you too!
It all started in our kitchen…
and then we added another angel to our family on October 2023
She’s holding the 1st ever type of candles we did.
FUN FACTS:
Fun Facts: About a year before finding Alison’s course, I was talking about starting a restaurant LOL (with all my cooking skills!) or opening a club (low key I still want to LOL)
I still have all of several things I used as a Detention Officer like my handcuff key and my uniforms with my name on it, I don’t think I will ever want to get rid of them)
It’s a full circle moment every time I see a cop car on my way to a Market, if you would have told me that candles would heal me in several ways than one I wouldn’t have believed you AND if you would have told me I would be doing what I am doing now when I was pursuing a career in law enforcement I would have laughed. Don’t get me wrong my mentality hasn’t changed, what do I mean by that? I mean that I am always aware of my surroundings and I’m always ready to protect people from the evil of this world however that gets manifested.
